I have conjunctivitis.

Leen said that according to malay pimples (i think she meant to say peoples -it's grammatically wrong but its Leen, we always forgive her for her tresspasses against the language), if you have conjunctivitis, you must says AKU SAKIT PANTAT.

She adds that if I am worried about being rude, I should just say, SAYA sakit pantat. Being rude is in fact the least of my worries.

I have bigger concerns. Like morphing into a cow so that I can work on lowering my triglycerides level, which have been elevated for the last 10 mths.

Among other causes of high levels of triglycerides are the food you eat, smoking, and conditions like the polycystic ovary syndrome (which is a fucked up syndrome to have because it brings on so many other complications). I've been reading up on high trigs and they tell me that everything save for leafy green vegetables and water are the best things to help address the problem. This is because these are foods that are lowest in their sugar (hence, carb) content (duh!).

Another major concern is: Since cows only eat grass, I wonder how the fuck are they so fat? Are they piling on the carbs when we aren't watching? And how do goats manage to stay so slim?

Final major concern at the mo: What do men say when they have conjunctivitis? Aku sakit kepala? (as in you know...the other one)

Anyways, you better not stare at this screen too long lah, then you will also kena conjunctivitis.