OF LINDA JASMINE (no, not Jasmine NRG, demmit) AND THE DIVA

There she was; smug and nonchalant, slouching like a slob she claimed she was, face parted open by the opening which we all call mouth.

There she was; looking to the left and right, perhaps not knowing what was happening, still slouching, mouth still gaping.

There she was; looking like she was enjoying herself, slouched on the chair for the world to see what bad posture she had on her.

What can you expect from the great snorer whom we fondly have dubbed The Diva? Being a hardcore Akademi Fantasia fanatic follower, you could expect to catch a glimpse, or two, or a few, of her on TV enjoying herself with hedonistic pleasure from the amateurs singing their stools out.

This time round, thank God, she wasn’t seated at choice seats right behind Linda Jasmine (like she did last year, and can you simply imagine how much airtime The Diva got simply from being in the same space as the gorgeous banshee that is Linda Jasmine). But the cameras managed to find her, slouching, grinning, looking blur, lost, eyeballs rolling up and down, and lips drenched in blood-coloured rouge.

Tsk …

Leen, take it from me, the expert of being at the right place at the right time whenever there are TV cameras around. You don’t know when the cameras are supposed to pan across the room to include the fame-seekers like you during a live (or recorded) broadcast, so the best you can do is to look your best at all time! Even if it meant having your best smile frozen on your face for 2 and half bloody hours.

But The Diva had to slouch her glorious body all over the chair. “But the chair is very small and I had no choice but to push my boobs up …” she texted to me when I reprimanded her for slouching during a live broadcast. (The exact words were, I believe, tolak tetek naik).

Thinking she would take heed of my advice, these eyes again spied her slouching form when the camera panned across the auditorium.

She is a lost cause.

The third time the camera caught her image, she was grinning her heart away and it looked like the tongue (hers, of course) lolled down her chin. (Excuse me, but only Cik Cookie can do this to perfection, ye?)

Is she or is she a lost cause?

But at the very least, I, A Babe with very Little Brain and Fantastic Appearances on PrimeTime TV, could see that The Diva was enjoying herself despite her cramped seating arrangement.

And because of that, I, A Babe with very Kind Heart, would like to beseech all to AFundi Diddy, The Diva’s jantan kekar of the moment.

(And we, the Beautiful People, are most touched when we found out the The Diva had gallantly foregone the chance to hog the cramped seats of the MPPJ Civic Centre and watch that Faizal thingie doing a bad imitation of Kurt Cobain to join the great Birthday Bash for Little Miss Sunshine at PH a couple of weeks ago.

Leen, your sacrifice melted our hearts [if we had any but I'm sure we all pretend that we do]).