Fingers, dirt and art!


Hey hey, let's all go bald and paint our scalps with bright pink daisies?!!!
Wouldn't that be utterly rad!!!

(Oh don't I sound 15?!)


*******


hek hem. bla bla bla bla bla...


"Car Grafitti!!!"


I for one, am VERY proud with the fact that I haven't washed my car in many, many, many, many moons (and countless suns)...

And as such, I have indulged in "Car Grafitti!"
(How do u spell grafitti again? Heck, who cares.)

Car Grafitti is in fact, the simple art of making ur uber grubby car stand out. What with the haze, the smog, the dirt, the birds, the men, of courCe cars will naturally obtain a thick layer of gunk on the outer layer.

Too many pollutants, and yet too little toime to clean it off!!!

So how does a super stylo hot hoochie mama like moiself (eh I'm hot okay? fat but hot) pull off driving in a grubby car? So grubby, the paint has changed from metallic silver to matte gray dusk.

I invented "Car Grafitti"!

But then again, I am TooTs and everybody knows I rock.

Ahh pardon me while i bask in my own self-professed glory...


*basking in self-professed glory*
*basking in self-professed glory*
*basking in self-professed glory*
*basking in self-professed glory*

Anyways... so you ask,
"O by gosh golly TooTs! How DO we achieve such great heights?!!"

O fret not my former-symbian friend! TooTs is here to save the day.


How To Be Proud of Your Grubby Car:

1. Got dirt?
To achieve the right effect, your car must be massiVely grubby; i.e: the dirt must be thick enuff to rival that of lorries and other heavy duty thingamajigs found at various grubby places and whatnots.

If in the event, it is still too clean, and you being the poser that you are, would like to be part of the "in" crowd (everything done by TooTs is the latest craze okay?); then I would suggest you spend a full day tailing a bas kilang or kenderaan berdiesel dan mengeluarkan asap hitam.


2. Finger me baby.
Ohhh yess baby oohhh yes!

Oh. Oops.

- Raise ur right hand.
- Clench it into a fist.
- Pointing finger goes up.
- Ensure finger is clean from gunk (like boogers and whatnots... oh don't give me that look, I know what you coons use your fingers for. Useless fuckwits!!!)

And now you are ready, my young tadpole!


3. Praise me like you shoooood!
With finger, write poetry on your car, or perhaps, phrases that you think would rock an elephant's mother. Support with graphic imagery!

4. Speak dirty baby!
The whole idea is to appeal to the viewer, for the whole idea of "Car Grafitti" is to stand out with a hint of class and not be vulgar and crass.

So. DO NOT write idiotic things such as:
"Call me for a free fuck!"
or "Ina sayang Mawi!"
or "Mawi pun sayang Ina!"
or "Fuck brader!"
or "Ini kereta nenek saya. Nenek saya rambut oren!"
or "Kak Temah Labu k**ngk*k (would you like to buy a vowel? :P) hebat!"

and other statements of similar nature; for this is art!
And art must be unique and well thought!

For example, a simple hai ku wud rock!
"Leaping frog lands on leaf; a peaceful life."
or
"Creaking boards come to rest; really great sex!"

Please, the idea here is not to be lewd or perverse; albeit my perverted nature.

Instead we must appeal with wit and intelligent humor!
Innuendos are welcomed, but be warned that not all can master it!

5. In conclusion...
Be very, very, very wise when choosing your statement!
Cleverly think up of a theme that suits you and your style.

After all, this is all about still being stylishly fab, even with horrendously icky wheels!!!

All you fashionistas and hot hoochie mamas (and papas) out there, raise your finger and make art!!!

But beware of committing a fashion faux pas okay?
Now go make TooTs proud!!!



Luvsies and kissies,
-The Pretentious Perky Pudendum-





Next Up: Crocs: They rawk!