While playing the game Taboo:

Someone: What does Leen call Babe?
Babe: (yelling) Pundeeek!!

Someone: What do people in KL like to do?
Babe: (yelling again!) Fuck!!!

And that is how perverse our Babe can get. She likes to spew profanities (why the fuck am I trying to make it sound like such a beautiful sentence anyway?) but that is Babe for you. She's all class and a bit of slut. The Merv from the Matrix equated cursing in French with wiping one's arse with silk. I equate spending time with Babe with the same.


Now Toots...the first time you meet Toots, you'd think man, can ditzy get any ditzier? And then you go to her house and find that she reads books like Freakonomics. And dates men who teach law at universities. And she's like a kickass project manager for some corporate company. And she actually knows how to operate the dryer..lol.. You know...if I was a guy, I'd wanna marry Toots.

Leen, dear Leen. Be mesmerised at the level of precision that is deployed by her as she seeks and destroys bawangs in her food mercilessly. This is the idiot who'd be playing games on her phone when we're smack in the centre of a hot gossip session (usually about Kooky now that she's no longer with us). And make sure there's no computer lying around if you want her full attention. In a situation where she has to choose between man and computer, make no doubt man, she won't choose you.

Shai is pregnant. I shall not kutuk her. But we have proposed that she name her child Nurhanuza Masleen because all the names of the Cacklers are in there except for Snots coz her name and Leen's sounds the same but Leen's spelling is longer so she wins. Harumph!

The Wailer is stuck in Sudan gazing at schlongs. The Wailer is all class and all class. I feel like dirt under her feet whenever we're together. She's so prim and proper (speaks perfect English and minds her Ps and her Qs as Ashburn once puts it) that I wonder wot the hell she's doing with a bunch of raggedy anai-anais like us. When I am around Wailer, sometimes, I feel like vomitting blood but that's okay, I vomit blood all the time anyway.

And Kooks is such a fucking shameless cocktease. I mean, it's not like I have a cock but if I did, I'm 100 per sient (per cent lah but with Texan kinda twang to it) sure, she'd tease it. Kuki is a bum sometimes because she never tells us who she dates despite the blood oath we took to share each and everything which others (boyfriends, husbands and panties are an exception though). I get the feeling that she was a snake in her past life, or might become one in her next life because she always jelirkan her lidah. Or maybe she's just Satan in disguise kot. Anyways, we like her and we bought her thongs for her birthday.

If you'd like to see her in thongs, you'd have to go to New York though coz the biatch's gone there on scholarship to do her Masters in Tantric Sex.

Snots is our gangster. Seriously! If she smacks you, you will fly you Timbuktu. Seriously! She will make sure that you fly to Timbuktu if she wanted you to fly to Timbuktu because she has obsessive-compulsive disorder. Ashburn says she is anal, but I believe that one's sexual habits are best left for them to practice behind closed doors in a walled room (its okay to leave you window open if you live high up in a condo).

If Snots means to do something, she won't stop until it's perfect. She also has a nose-stud a pierced belly-button, although I am not completely sure how that information is going to benefit you, dear reader (actually not sure how this entire entry is going to benefit you). Legend has it that this woman, upon arriving in Perhentian unpacked her clothes, neatly folded them and hung them up in the cupboard. And then she folded her panties all neatly (colour-coded some more okay) and placed them in drawers.

I.

Am just

Me.

I am constantly having crushes on Indian machans (deep down inside, every Indian man is an Indian machan okay??) who write fucking well.

I am also irked by Indian women who keep saying that they are not typical Indian the moment they pick up a cigarette and smoke and decide that they want to marry a Mat Salleh.

I think they are disillusioned and stupid. I think they should be burnt at stake.

Amd most of the time, I think I should die too.

This is coming a bit late but Happy 2007.

Let's die!

Why? I never!!!

Pages containing profanities won't load apparently!

Some hotshot filtering system implemented by fuckwits that want to play God!

Bloody Nazi shits!! May the dicks of two hundred thousand (Afghan?) camels be stuffed into thy shitholes.

You know.

Sometimes we should just pack and leave. Board the next train, plane, heck, bus out to Anywhere. I want to sit on the beach while the scorching sun prickles my skin so bad, they crawled in fear and then flake off my body. I want to go lie down on the sand and read a Really Good Book and then snooze. I want to go to hiding behind some very large rocks and have a Really Good Cry that when I finally waddle out, my eyes would be stinging so bad I'll wince and squint. Which doesn't matter anyway because it's so hot, everyone without shades are squinting as it is. I want to go into the warm sea and then float and not think of work, of the backlogs, of my appraisals and of my seemingly non-growth of my career. Then I'll get out of the water and sit back on the beach to dry my hair (it'll caked together but that's alright).

And then I want to go and eat.

Anyone's game for an island escapade? Jom lah.

sexcapades and love parades...

hello. can you say hello 2007 times?
please do.
tis the new morrow.
arise sweet child and suckle on the fresh dew!

then shoot the mutha for being a piece of slime.

happy new year!